Fortune favours the brave… or does it?
And by secrets we mean health, work, relationships… health…
It’s tricky. Whilst we appreciate honesty, some flatmates prefer the ignorance is bliss way of life and would rather not know. Some people are extremely open and would prefer to share every facet of their lives with their housemates. The implications for this are obvious: judgement and backlash to name a couple. But then it will cause these honest housemates to question whether they would want to move in with someone of that nature in the first place. But consider if the tables were turned. Someone recently told me if she should disclose her bipolar to potential flatmates. However, when I mentioned a really nice guy with learning difficulties that’s looking for a flatmate also she responded with ‘I would rather not live with him if it can be helped’.
Now, everyone has their opinion. But this is, unfortunately, going to be the reaction that most will face when put in this situation. Consider another situation. When I was flatmate hunting, I came across a woman also looking for a flatmate. During our first telephone conversation, she cried to me about having lost someone very dear to her and she’s looking for someone to keep her company. Now, she was a lovely woman but my initial thought was to back away and avoid eye contact. Whilst I understand how painful her loss is, I also had problems of my own and felt I was already carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I did not think I could possibly take on someone else’s issues. Whilst I might not be the right housemate for her, she’ll be better off finding someone else who relished the idea of playing councillor. In the end, I told her I was sorry for her loss and politely declined the spear room.
So where am I going with all of this? I suggest keeping your issues to yourself. Move in with your desired flatmate(s). When you have built up rapport and a level of trust, then maybe consider opening up to them. Whilst we greatly support the idea of the kindness of strangers, that stranger will always think twice if they had to live with you!
Wishing you the best of luck!
Happy Flatmating!
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